The Non-Performance Relationship

Let me ask a question: is a good relationship based upon performance? Does a healthy relationship consist of you-do-this and I-do-that? Well, there's the right answer and there's the honest answer, the reality. How do we relate? (Please take note if you thought to yourself, "That's two questions ...")

When Jesus saw the little children, He sought relationship: let the little children come to me. To the contrary, his disciples were performance oriented: we have a job to do, a task to accomplish. The children will hinder that. 

Ask yourself how often the answer coming from your Dad's mouth was, "No." That answer, given often, produces a work-based, task-oriented view of relating. "What can I do to get a yes?"

But God defines relationship differently.Instead of "do", He says "come." When He knocks on the door to "dine" with us, He doesn't say, "clean up and get ready." He says, "open the door." That's it. Open up. And that is key.

For relating is all about vulnerability. Opening our secret places for others to come in and share intimately with us. Works and busyness build walls around us that keep us protected from being really known. Stillness and openness makes us vulnerable; relate-able. Be still and know ...

Yet there is a part of us, a Martha-part, that cries out, "There's work to be done!" And when God calls us to stray from the well-protected, walled path of our goal-oriented lives, we cry out with the voice of Tevye, "Tradition!"

Yet He provides an example, the true model of real relationship. He comes to earth, to us, in the flesh - the Word became flesh - and He shows the Father to us. He reveals the Father to us. He comes with one thing in mind; not to correct, not to heal many, (and He did that, and it was good) - but to reconcile, to rebuild a broken relationship, to rebuild the broken relationship.

Father, make them one even as You and I are one. Can you get any closer than that? So, nothing to do then? Well, there is one thing you can do. The work of the Father. Believe. For this is eternal life, that they may know You, the one true God, and Jesus, the One You have sent.

To know ... that is true life.


  1. Very true...very good. Well written ...good Biblical research! Goes with him being Jealous for us!


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