Head Hung Low
Do you remember being a kid and getting into trouble? I mean big trouble; smoking, breaking that expensive tool of your dad's, or blackening your sister's eye? Those kind of fear of judgement, expectation of wrath getting into troubles. I don't know if you've experienced that before, but here's how it went for me.
The deed is done. It is bad and somewhere in the back of your mind you know the hammer is going to come down hard. And then the deed comes to light, followed by the retribution, the fear, the guilt. Regret springs up. Wishing you hadn't done the evil deed and that you could go back and undo it.
But even worse are the after-effects.
The distance, the awkwardness. You feel the canyon between you and your judge. You tread lightly for the next few days, speaking softly and complying. Hey, you're even willing to listen attentively to the lecture about why you shouldn't have done what you did. Maybe the payment was metered in anger, maybe not.
I can remember walking around with my head hung low, dutifully carrying the weight of my guilt until the last penny was paid. Quiet and humble, speaking to the judge without an ounce of exuberance or joy. Paying until the relationship is restored; until time healed the memories of the sin. Did you ever feel like that? You failed, and now you pay - whatever that looks like.
But I have good news for you! God's economy is not like that. Because of Jesus Christ, all the punishment we deserve, all the distance, has been taken - carried to the cross.
And our attitude now with our heavenly Father? Just as joyful as it was before the fall. "Hey Dad! Good to see You." Head held high. Why? Because when you said sorry (I failed, I doubted, I ... put your sin here), He immediately forgot. As far as the east is from the west. He forgot.
Why? Because He is patient with us. He knows our frame, our tendencies, our weaknesses, our buttons. And yet, He carries them all for a single purpose, an ultimate motive - to be near to us.
So the next time you fail God (not if, when), go to Him, repent (I'm sorry Dad), and lift your head up high, you've no reason to hang it low, your Savior already hung his head low for you on the cross.