When They Leave

My wife and go to my eye appointments together. That's what we do. We've always done things together. I think we actually enjoy spending time together. So, we go to my eye appointment together in Boston and then head to Charles street after that to catch a good Italian dinner. Call it a medical date night. Is this what people start to do at our age? Is this getting older? Well, it's not as painful as I thought it would be when I was a younger man.

As we were checking out of the doctor's office in Boston, bantering between ourselves and the receptionist, the receptionist made a comment that made me think for a few days. In fact, it made me think enough to take the time to write this blog about it. She said, You guys seem like you have a good time together. That's not something you can fake. Miserable couples, or couples going through it, can't give the impression that they have fun together. 

My wife and I have children. They've been a joy. They've been the reason for hundreds of prayers. They've been a large, very large, part of our life. We love our family; we love our children. But our children are growing up. They are moving out, doing adult things; and sometimes the house can be pretty quiet. Many evenings consist of my wife and I together, without the children around. This is when it's important to have fun together; to have a relationship where each one enjoys the other and where we can laugh at ourselves (and sometimes each other).

But this is also the season where marriages can start to fall apart. Children living their own lives away from Mom and Dad can leave a void in the husband-wife relationship. The effort and work that children require may have been a welcome distraction to an unhappy marriage. But whether your marriage is in this season of adult children and built on a solid relationship foundation or not, it's not too late to start building. 

The scripture says that a triple braided cord is not easily broken. Good relationship foundation or not, it is a difficult change when the children start to leave, to grow into adulthood. It puts strain on the marriage relationship; a whole new set of challenges and dynamics is introduced. But a three stranded cord is not easily broken. When God runs through the marriage, intertwining the seasons of life, touching every part of the marriage, a strength that goes beyond human effort and wisdom is present. 

Marriage is an adventure. Adventures aren't predictable. Adventures may get planned, but they often offer unexpected twists and turns. Isn't that life? But in that, there is an anchor that holds, a hope we have that the One who designed marriage, is in the marriage and is for the marriage. He is the third strand, the One who is behind the scenes providing support, wisdom, needed change. He is the miracle maker, the all in all. 

He is the One your marriage needs.

(Answers to the challenges we face in marriage can't be summed up in blog, book, or article. But there is often a starting point in change, and prayer is a powerful start to change. Would you take time today to pray with your spouse? And we will be praying for you as well.)


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