This is My Ugly
Pour out your heart to him - psalm 62:8
Empty it completely. Leave nothing behind. Not one drop of bad attitude, not one secret sin, not a single dream or feeling of accomplishment. God wants it all, not for His sake, but for yours. You see, you can be honest with God. That hidden sin that nobody knows about? He sees it. The attitude you have towards your children, boss, or pastor? God hears it as if you were yelling it out at the top of your lungs. God knows it all, and he wants you to know He knows it all.
Exposing our hearts has never been easy. Opening up can be scary. Who likes to be rejected? Our past hurts and rejections has helped to pay the salary of many a psychologist. But as any good counselor will tell you, holding it in, bottling it up, is a sure recipe for impending explosion. So pour it out; pour it out before God.
The psalm I quoted at the opening actually begins with the words, "Trust in Him at all times, O people." One of the greatest expressions of trust is an open heart. Vulnerability. Scary word for some of us; even bordering on the four-letter category. But the alternative is loneliness. Solitude without solace.
Not ready to be real with people? Does intimacy with your spouse or friend sound daunting, repulsive? Start with God. He wants you to be real with Him because He wants relationship with you. No worries, He can handle it. "But if God knew what I've done, again, and again, He'd turn me away in disappointment." Well then, start there. Tell God you don't feel good enough. Tell Him you feel like a complete failure, unworthy of His love.
Webster's "simple definition" of the word pour is to cause something to flow in a steady stream. Let it gush. Lay your heart of hearts before the king of kings. And listen. Listen to what He says about you,
"You are my bride. You are beautiful to me."
Those are His words to all of your broken dreams, crushed hopes, deepest desires, loneliness, and pain. And His response to your plans, excitement for the future, the places you'd like to see, the people you'd like to meet, that language you want to learn evokes the same response; with a smile.
To your wholeness and to your brokenness He says the same thing,
"I know the plans I have for you, child. Good plans. For you are my beautiful bride."
Start with God and then move to a friend. Pour out. Be real. Show your ugly. He'll save you and His promise is true - I'll give you a crown of beauty for ashes.